Stark's apartment, Tuesday morning
Aug. 30th, 2022 11:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
designateddadfriendSnuggling in bed with a handsome alien had become one of Travis's favorite past times. But unfortunately, waking up -- literally anywhere, really, but even with said handsome, snuggly alien -- continued to be one of his least favorite.
Because waking up always came with a fresh blast of pain over what should be a tired old loss. And after literally carrying around a physical reminder of that loss all day yesterday, Travis felt it even more keenly -- and more physically -- than most mornings.
He lay absolutely still, his eyes squeezed shut, and did his best to swallow it all back down. To breathe.
[ooc: for the handsome alien, and surely to be FULL OF EVEN MORE EMO]
Because waking up always came with a fresh blast of pain over what should be a tired old loss. And after literally carrying around a physical reminder of that loss all day yesterday, Travis felt it even more keenly -- and more physically -- than most mornings.
He lay absolutely still, his eyes squeezed shut, and did his best to swallow it all back down. To breathe.
[ooc: for the handsome alien, and surely to be FULL OF EVEN MORE EMO]
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 04:36 pm (UTC)But he was a fairly light sleeper, most of the time, so he noticed Travis waking up.
"Travis?" He said, very softly.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 04:39 pm (UTC)It always took a few moments to push it all back down and be a functional person again.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 04:47 pm (UTC)"That's fine," he said quietly.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 04:52 pm (UTC)Or . . . several.
He pressed his hands over his face and rubbed them slowly down towards his chin, trying to recenter himself in his own body. He'd done this to Grant and Emmett on occasion, too, but he felt especially bad for doing it to Stark. Grant and Emmett had . . . normal people problems. Stark had extra fancy alien problems and only one eye and Travis's grief was just being unfair, okay?
(Travis's grief was pissed at never being properly expressed was what was happening, but, well. It'd been six years now, and he very well worn into this rut.)
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 05:37 pm (UTC)He'd waited, laying very still, before finally speaking again.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 06:04 pm (UTC)He couldn’t quite bring himself to say “no”.
It turned out it really was hard to ask for a hug when you needed one. (It helped to know that’s what you needed, though.)
Oh no. Here came tears. He did not need to be crying in Stark!
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 06:30 pm (UTC)Sorry, Travis, you may have pulled away but you were getting pulled back in now to be held.
"I'm right here. If that helps."
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 07:01 pm (UTC)Travis twisted to stick his (damp) face against Stark and just — let go for a minute.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 07:29 pm (UTC)He wasn't going to say anything as absurd as 'don't cry' or 'shhh.' He was just going to put a gentle hand on the back of Travis's head.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 07:53 pm (UTC)Eventually—very eventually—he pulled back a few inches. “Sorry,” he said softly. “Mornings are, uh. Hard. Especially after yesterday.”
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 08:02 pm (UTC)"Remembering is hard sometimes. But often better than the alternative. You don't need to apologize. Not for that. Never for that."
He moved his hand, slowly, to rest on Travis's back. Which, of course, no longer had a pack on it.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 10:28 pm (UTC)(Was it strange that that was part of what hurt?)
“I can’t let him go. I know I’m supposed to. That he’ll always be with me anyway. But I can’t.”
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-30 11:32 pm (UTC)He sighed softly, not removing his hand. "I hope it doesn't always hurt you so much. But I understand. I promise. I never let Zhaan go. But eventually there was room for her and her loss and her sacrifice but still room for other things."
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 04:16 pm (UTC)Possibly Stark, someday.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 04:28 pm (UTC)Summer had repeated it several times.
"It's hard not to. I'm trying not to."
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 04:31 pm (UTC)“Is that why you’re always apologizing?”
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 04:51 pm (UTC)Maybe because of holding on too tightly.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 05:07 pm (UTC)“Well. You’re doing things right by me.”
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 05:21 pm (UTC)"I'm trying to. I'm glad. This is... it's good. You're good. I want to do right by you."
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 05:28 pm (UTC)“You should, uh. Tell me. If the Michael stuff seems to be getting in the way. I can’t promise I won’t get mad, but — if you don’t tell me I won’t know. And I don’t want to hurt you like that.”
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 05:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 05:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 05:53 pm (UTC)Stark's voice was hesitant and he'd lifted his hand from Travis's back, slightly.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 06:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 06:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 06:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 06:42 pm (UTC)He could lay here almost all day! "I have nowhere to be until much later."
(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 07:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-08-31 07:16 pm (UTC)"Nothing until then. Not keeping me from anything." Maybe from breakfast. That was it.