Let's Play Tourists!, first period
Jun. 5th, 2026 12:25 pmJon had handwavily advised everybody to wear warm-weather clothes and be prepared to swim if they were so inclined. He met them at Portalocity with a large box that contained assorted moddable hats and wraps, towels, and enough tubes of sunscreen for everybody to have two.
"When you're out on the water, you often end up burned despite your best efforts, so everybody please be careful and wear enough of this." He was an Englishman who grew up in a beach town. He knew the benefits of not burning!
"This weekend, a lot of places will be celebrating Pride, which is a way of acknowledging that people of different sexualities and gender identities are all worthy of being people, which is somehow still a radical idea for some." Because people were idiots.
The portal opened to someplace very sunny. "We'll be visiting Key West Pride today. Key West is the southernmost point of the continental United States. It began as a place of the rich and conversely, scavengers. Because some rich people are bad at sailing. It largely thrives on tourism these days, and declared its independence from the US when the government interfered with that in an effort to keep people from entering the country illegally. Apparently, they threw bread at the Coast Guard."
Why bread? Who knew!
"Anyway, it's a rather...er...laid-back place, I suppose you'd say." Look, when your two most famous residents were Jimmy Buffet and Ernest Hemingway, you got a reputation. Largely for booze.
"We'll be going on a boat trip. There will be lunch, drinks for anyone old enough, and swimming if you're able and so inclined." And a costume contest if you wanted to get dressed up.
Jon mentally reviewed what he'd needed to tell them, then nodded and headed through the portal. Possibly with a muttered, Call me boring.
"When you're out on the water, you often end up burned despite your best efforts, so everybody please be careful and wear enough of this." He was an Englishman who grew up in a beach town. He knew the benefits of not burning!
"This weekend, a lot of places will be celebrating Pride, which is a way of acknowledging that people of different sexualities and gender identities are all worthy of being people, which is somehow still a radical idea for some." Because people were idiots.
The portal opened to someplace very sunny. "We'll be visiting Key West Pride today. Key West is the southernmost point of the continental United States. It began as a place of the rich and conversely, scavengers. Because some rich people are bad at sailing. It largely thrives on tourism these days, and declared its independence from the US when the government interfered with that in an effort to keep people from entering the country illegally. Apparently, they threw bread at the Coast Guard."
Why bread? Who knew!
"Anyway, it's a rather...er...laid-back place, I suppose you'd say." Look, when your two most famous residents were Jimmy Buffet and Ernest Hemingway, you got a reputation. Largely for booze.
"We'll be going on a boat trip. There will be lunch, drinks for anyone old enough, and swimming if you're able and so inclined." And a costume contest if you wanted to get dressed up.
Jon mentally reviewed what he'd needed to tell them, then nodded and headed through the portal. Possibly with a muttered, Call me boring.